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Kick hurdles while working hard to stand your own empire

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

— Thomas A. Edison

In order to stand on your own empire determination is the key to success.

You have dreams for your life, but there are times you feel impossible to make them real. Although you know what to do and how to do it, but the thought of taking action requires courage. Courage is the ability to withstand fear, humiliation, and discomfort.

We’re conditioned from childhood to avoid unpleasant feelings. Nothing stirs those feelings more than taking risks, which is necessary to go after your dreams. It’s no wonder change can feel so hard.

I’ve identified five themes that cause us to talk ourselves out of pursuing our dreams.

By definition, being determined by struggle is difficult. Sometimes we need support and encouragement of someone. There are times we need to figure out what went wrong, and also at times we just need to grit our teeth, pull ourselves up, and fight onward.

After taking a leap out of the corporate world and by helping clients through the change process, we’ve identified five themes that may cause us to talk ourselves out of pursuing our dreams.

  1. Do not Compare yourself to others

    It is easy to fall into the trap of comparison. Look around and there is probably someone already doing what you planned to do. People compare themselves to where they are and also compete with people. It will drag you down and develop a mentality of scarcity and fear.

What to Do instead:

  • You must realize that no one has your style, experiences, and knowledge. There is no one in this world who can be you better than you. You are unique and none can take your place.
  • Try to focus on developing your own self. You’re a work in progress, and must not be a static entity. You are actually evolving into the person you want to be.
  • It is time to realise that copying others and their journey will only cause you to feel inauthentic. Satisfaction lies in authenticity.
  • Do not forget to compare yourself to a previous version of you.  You must celebrate all the progress you have made since then. We often look at our ultimate goal, on how far we need to go and that’s the reason we lose sight of how far we have reached.
  1. Perfection brings satisfaction

Remember, if perfectionism is your standard, then you have no standard because it is a fantasy. I am not asking you to be careless in approach but to live in an imaginary world will ruin your satisfaction.

What to Do instead:

  • Take small steps and adjust as and when necessary to get to the results you desire for.
  • You must realize that most decisions are reversible i.e., you can change your mind later.
  1. Forget about public opinion

Virgina Woolf stated and I quote- ‘The eyes of others our prisons, their thoughts our cages’

The need for approval has been ingrained in us since childhood. However, when we try to portray something that we believe would please others, it results in disappointment. If you want to swim right, others tell you left is the way. And here begins the flurry of doubt, telling you that maybe what you want to do, or are doing, is incorrect.

And once you let go of the need to please others, you’re free to be yourself. On the other hand, you’re only trying to get people to like you by pretending to be someone else. You lose greatly on your originality.

Discontent stands out to be the biggest of hurdles in your path to stand up your empire.

What to Do instead:

  • Know that rejection is just another person’s opinion. It merely informs you of the other person’s preference. Remember it has nothing to say about you as a person. There’s no need to take it personally.
  • Believe in yourself and then there will come a day in your life when others will have no choice but to believe in you.
  • Your priority should be to decide what matters most to you, and then act accordingly.
  1. The fear of downfall

Winston Churchill said and I quote- ‘Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.”

Fear is a protection mechanism. It scans for what can go wrong and works hard to prevent that from happening. The problem arises when your fear identifies the most catastrophic outcome even when you are going after your dreams. It then tries to stop you.

What to Do instead:

  • Remember if you are not prepared to be wrong, you will never come up with something original. Take risks and explore.
  • Be curious and examine the facts objectively. You must weigh all the options. Do not deny that the worst-case scenario is a possibility. But if it does happen, can you recover? How long will you take to come back? How can you minimize the impact? If you succeed, then how pleasant are the outcomes, the effect on your life?
  • No human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. If you are moving in the direction of your dreams and aims, this only means you are growing into your potential.
  1. Impatience ruins

Our culture craves for some immediate gratification. However, a vision may take time. Focusing on all the hurdles can feel crippling and even cause you to give up before you start. If this is the scene how are you ever going to make it till the end?

What to Do instead:

  • You must focus on the next small step. It will move you closer to your vision. Remember, the reward is in the journey, not in the outcome.
  • Realize that confidence comes from competence, not the other way around. It is only by facing challenges that you will come across your true potential.

So, my friend the biggest hurdle in your path is you thinking. Once you tackle all the negativity in your mind you will surely soar high and overcome every obstacle on your way.

Updated: August 4, 2017 — 9:23 am

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